It's time to make a change

“Changes” is one of my favorite songs that came out of the late 90’s. It’s a song by 2Pac, who speaks on all types of topics and how we need to change our ways for many reasons. I listen to it every so often and think back at how the thought of making a change relates to my life. When my parents divorced, I listened to this song, when I went through a bad break up with my eldest sons’ mother, I listened, and when I decided to leave Michigan to visit my family for a few weeks in Florida, I listened. I didn’t know it yet but when I left Michigan it would be the best choice I ever made because it led to my calling in life, 9-1-1. Although it was the best choice it didn’t come without a lot of struggle and heart ache. I’ve gone through a lot in my life, but one thing remains…changes. There have been many and have led to all kinds of life experiences but the one I want to focus on is one that I have been meaning to write about for a few weeks now. You may or may not know this but at the end of October I was in the emergency room. It was an eye-opening experience and it’s one that I’m glad I had but leading up to it could’ve had different results if I had not decided to make a change early on.

Survive & Thrive Fit Challenge
December 2017, my good friends Jim Marshall and Ryan Dedmon of the 911 Training Institute and I joined forces to share our experience as we dealt with some medical issues we were having. We wanted to put ourselves out there, create a group, have people join, and support each other in making our lives better in every way possible. The name of our group includes “Fit Challenge” but in no way was it about numbers. This wasn’t exactly a weight loss challenge, rather, it focused on mental health and wellness, but it could be in meditation, yoga, exercise, reading a good book, anything that would help one succeed in making their lives better. It was a success and I personally experienced all kinds of benefits, but with everything, sometimes you slip, and slip I did.

Sober October 2019
For a year I stayed sober and continued what I was doing but I started to reintroduce certain foods and a little bit of alcohol and caffeine back into my diet. It was fine at first, but constant travel and work started hitting hard and I continued to eat and drink. The yoga stopped, and, really the routine of daily exercise stopped along with the good food I was putting into my body. Leading up to October 2019, again, I knew I needed to change something. You see, I was eating like crap. I wasn’t paying attention to what was affecting me through food, and I would feel like hell. You would think I would’ve put a stop to it right? Wrong! It continued and I would work all day, come home and spend time with my family, and once they slept, I would continue to work. Then I would wake up early and work and start it all over.

I would be dog tired so instead of coffee I would kill an energy drink, eat breakfast, and go to work. Then lunch, maybe a little more caffeine to wake up from the lunch food coma and then home. When it was time to sleep, I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I was wired from go juice so I would drink a couple beers to come down and finally sleep. I know, not good, but I did it and it kept me going, however, it seems that I like to learn the hard way. I continued this cycle for a while and come September I knew damn well I needed a CHANGE. This vicious cycle was only going to lead one place and I didn’t want to go there so I contacted Ryan and told him that I wanted to do Sober October. I asked if he and Jim wanted to join me and we could announce it to the group, and they were all for it. For me personally, I knew I needed to cut out caffeine too.

September 30, 2019, I started Sober October. I started early because, why not? I quit cold turkey after doing this vicious cycle for months and boy did it ever kick my ass. To stop drinking alcohol is nothing really, but caffeine? That’s another story and like sugar, it was hard to kick. Back when we first started our group, I stopped sugar and it took a few weeks for the withdrawals to subside. Fast forward and now I was dealing with caffeine withdrawals. I had heard of them causing headaches and physical reactions, but I had never experienced them. It was hell but I was not about to give in just to stop what I was going through. I caused it so now I needed to kick it and kick it I did. A big thanks goes out to everyone who shared a little of their own experience, along with encouragement, to help me get through it. I felt good but it took most of the month to kick it. I had been playing with the idea of extending what I was doing because I felt like I might need it, but it was evident by the end of the month that I needed to do this.

Changes
Since the beginning of Sober October I was dealing with some issues. I was not only going through caffeine withdrawals, but I was dealing with acid reflux again. My back was aching daily and the pain would cause my neck to become stiff and then it would hit my head and it would sometimes make we woozy. The last two weeks of October I started having random chest pain on my left side. It would sometimes be over my heart but would then move to the top of my chest or the left side and it was just odd. I was eating better but my body was wrecked, and I figure that my previous vicious cycle had created and hid what my body was going through. It was horrible but I continued to work at it and live life. I had not had a drop of alcohol and I kicked caffeine and you would think everything would be great, but it wasn’t.

The last week of the month was a bit worse and the weather drastically changed. It was cold and it was possible that it was going to snow on Halloween. The day came and it was cold, windy, and snowed a little. Trick or Treating was cancelled due to weather and it was good because my chest pain was bad. I was slightly confused and slow to get my words out and my arms were tingly and numb. I immediately went through my EMD protocol (emergency medical dispatch.) I had some main symptoms of a stroke and I was freaking out. I went to urgent care where after a few tests I was told I seemed ok, but their recommendation was to head to the ER. They were going to take me by ambulance, but I said no. The doctor asked me if my son was with me and I said yes. She asked if he was going to drive me and I told her that we would be fine, so she let me go.

When I left the room, I went to the lobby and called for my son. Now, he’s only 15 and does not have a license so we moved quickly. I rushed him to the car, and we left.

“Dad, what’s going on,” my son asked.

“They think you are taking me to the ER,” I replied.

“Oh my gosh you lied to them?”

“Not exactly. I never said you were actually going to drive me.”

He kind of chuckled and said ok. It was a funny moment in an emergency situation. I dropped him off and picked up my wife where she drove me to the ER. Along the way I prayed that I would be ok. I was still having chest pain and I was dizzy. I kept thinking, “Way to go dumbass! You should’ve stopped a long time ago.” When we arrived, they took me back and hooked me up to monitors, put me on an IV and also took around six tubes of blood to run tests. My blood pressure at its highest was 168 over 110. It was high! And well…I left something out. I have high blood pressure. Some of you may or may not know that but I do, and I had not taken my medication for quite some time. I know, I’m a dumbass. I should’ve been taking it, but I completely dropped it and here I am learning the hard way. After about four hours of testing and waiting and listening to a lady a few rooms down yell and swear at nurses for a nicotine patch it was time to go home.

They had done several tests and an X-ray. The tests ruled out anything to do with diabetes, my lungs are healthy, and they ruled out heart attack or stroke. My heart is healthy from what they told me. My blood pressure was so high that it was most likely what was causing my dizziness and other issues I was having. Also, the chest pain was more a muscular issue than anything else. I was relieved to hear all of this. When I got home, I immediately took one of my blood pressure pills and ate something. I sat in my living room alone and thought about the evening and then something hit me. It hit me hard enough that I started to cry. It was nuts but I guess it was the realization that if I had not had the thought to “change” something leading up to October, my visit to the ER may have been completely different. I might be recovering from surgery due to a stroke or much worse, I might not be here to share this story.

You know, my favorite part of Changes by 2Pac is the following,

We gotta make a change
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
And let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
What we gotta do, to survive.

These words have never been more powerful and I continue to learn and change. I have been taking my meds every day since this happened and I have extended Sober October for myself because I know I need to. If you take away anything from this, it’s to listen to your body and know when you need to make a change. “You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do what we gotta do, to survive.” It’s time to make a change…